Ohhh the places my piggies will go...

Let me apologize that it has taken so long... Mike is probably gonna kill me for slowing the internet connection down tonight but I had to get these up. Some of these pics are blurry but I posted them anyway to go along with the beach story. Most of these are in order so you can see what we did from day 1 til the end. I will also be rolling some others on here as soon as I finish the film on the camera that I've been using since my anniversary and the water camera that I bought just for the pools and ocean. I really tried to capture some good ones in the ocean so I hope that they turned out ok. I'll post them regardless. Anyway... here is

Tha Beach 08

My luggage

My piggies in my living room floor the night before we left.

Mike filling out Mission letters for Africa the night before we left.

Hotel on the roof...... well on the 10th floor.

Mine and Momma's piggies by the pool on the first afternoon.

Rose by the pool.

Mom by the pool our first afternoon.

Us.

Me and my precious momma after traveling all day.

Mike, Billy, and Seth looking at the carp.

Carp!

Tina

Mom giving me a mean look HAHA

Us on our way back from the MB flea market.

ugh... I look awful... my hair air dried and I just pulled it back.

T-T-T-Tina....... looking good!

Tina and Mom... I love this picture!

Us waiting

Mike waiting for a ride on the elevator

Momma and her momma

Kim and Seth

Mamaw Rose

Kim, Momma, and Billy being goofy waiting on the elevator

Good friends :D

Seth is huge compared to his momma!

Us on the elevator

My rarely clean car!

View from parking garage

Squirrels at Outback

Jared's "birthday" icecream lol

Momma dancing a jig.

Check out the face haha

Mamaw and Mom layin' out.

The walkway to the beach from our hotel.

Our pool

Lazy river

The hot tub where we met our preacher pal Keith... what a shame though... we never got his last name or contact info. If anyone knows a Keith in his early 40's maybe that does construction and lives in Greenville, SC... let us know :D

Billy and Mom

Billy, momma, and mamaw

Mike and I.... I look so goofy in this pic... yuck!

Mike and I

My piggies at the pool!

Me laying out in the sun.... my favorite summer activity, even though I rarely get to!

Mike and I and our piggies in the hotel room before going out to eat.

again

www.sigmonwrestling.com ... Chuck and Pamilicious

The ocean.......... from the walkway at nite.

Sand squid!

My husband's favorite thing to do at the beach.

Baby fishy!

Beautiful waves at night!

Sand flea.... eww

Sand flea burrowing into the sand as Tina and I shiver lol

Baby fishy

again

Random little girl with a crab she caught ... we caught one like this 2 nites before but didn't get a pic of it.

again

again

teany, tiny fishy

ocean at nite

frothy!

My piggies in the waves at nite!

My piggies in the sand at nite!

What'd ya find Mikey?

Our hotel from the beach at night

Tina on the beach with Mike and I.

Tina on the phone worried about Sheryl.... she is doing much better by the way. Please everyone keep her in Prayer still.

Fishy

Were these here last year? Love 'em.

Crab

Crab pinching Mike.

Hi, I'm Crabby Mike HEHE

Momma through my fogged out lens!

Me and Momma getting our tan on.

again... I am so blessed!

Tina and Kim layin' out.

Not sure but some sort of marker or something in the ocean.

Kite! It sure was a good day for them.

Hurts my knees even now to look down from the 12th floor.

The city of Myrtle Beach.

Jess... I was thinking of you when I took this pic. You needed these air units that week didn't ya?

Momma tired.

Rose

Little kitchen... we missed last years hotel and will probably be going back to it next time.

Me, Billy, and Mike surfin the waves.

Me after a big one. This is my most favorite thing to do at the beach.

TIRED!

Baby brother!

Boogie Boarding! Don't eat me sharks!

Mike hiding behind the date LOL

Seth!

Oh no... Billy sees a shark. JK

Hot!

BFF!

Rosie, Tina, Kim

Mother and son

Jess ... here's your hotel.

Puttin' my feet up after the long drive home!

Decent tan .... pics from the day after the long drive home.

And........... the piggies are resting safely in momma and daddy's SX4 on a weekly Corbin Walmart trip : ) I love my life!

God is such a good Father

I should probably have saved this post for Father's Day but oh well... when God is your Father, everyday is Father's Day. You know... I am so glad that I can call God my Father. I have had a wonderful "snapshot" of God through my earthly parents, but even there unwavering love is nothing compared to the love that God has for me. Can you imagine that? He loves me even though I have treated Him so awful sometimes. When my mom calls to talk, I talk to her. Sometimes I have put Jesus on hold and never went back to Him when He has called. Yet, if I dial His number... He still answers. I Pray that I can be a better child and make Him proud of me.
Even right now, it is such a blessing to realize that God has my precious child in His arms right at this moment. He knows if when I'll find out, how I'll find out, what the child will be (m/f), when he/she will be born and He already knows what He will speak to that little one as it grows inside my womb. And I do believe that... I believe God can whisper in those precious babies' ears and let them know just how much He loves them. Imagine the babies born to drug parents. I am sure that they hurt and have major problems while developing and just as He does to us, He whispers sweet peace to them. Maybe you think I'm crazy, but I really feel like they hear His voice as we do. Praise God, He is so good!

Romans 8:18

Romans 8:18

King James Version For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

I am the metal, YOU are the blacksmith! Mold me & Shape me.

I am loving our Wednesday night sermons at church lately. I mean I always love them but I am really loving them right now. Preacher Bingham has been preaching on sowing and reaping. Amazing lessons and sermons I tell ya! Tonight, he talked to us about the topic again and he brought up the fact that God is molding us into what He needs us to be. He also talked about God drawing our attention to His precious Son by letting our flesh go through things here on earth. He mentioned several verses but this one stood out to me...

John 8: 32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

This verse is often misquoted as ... the truth shall set you free.... but the word make brings on a whole different meaning. To "make" something be a certain way can only be done if that something is taken through a process just as we are as Christians. We are like a piece of metal being heated in the fire, beat with iron, and cooled down in water and Jesus is the blacksmith who is molding us. This repetitive process molds us into what He would have us be in order to bring glory and honor to His name. Beautiful picture isn't it?

I also thought of this verse which some of you might recognize at the bottom of all my emails:

Malachi 3:3 He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.

He truly is refining and purifying me and I truly praise Him for that!

My New Infertility Blog

Hi all:

After this morning's post, I read an email from a friend who said that she was starting an infertility blog to keep up with all that she is going through. I have thought of this before but I just never got around to doing it because it was sort of like admitting a problem. Well, I finally did it today. I will still give minor updates here but my main infertility updates will be there. Without further ado, I present to you (and mainly to me because that's my main reason for creating it), On the Outside Looking In: My Struggle With Infertility.

Alesha

Ps. When I created my blog, I accidentally typed the address wrong and I didn't notice it until now. So the official address is http://ontheoutidelookingin.blogspot.com If anyone knows a way to fix this, let me know because I don't think it's possible.

Childless

Good Morning All:

I can honestly say that after much soul searching this morning, and its been a rather rough morning I might add, I have produced the following poem. I didn't mean to write something, but those of you who are natural born writers will attest that it is sometimes at the most heightened or most lowly moments that we produce work because that's when the emotion is the greatest. For me, I just have to vent and this is one of my methods. I don't do it as much as I use to but when I have to write, I really must do it right then.

Those of you who read this post that have not struggled with infertility like me and so many of my wonderful friends may think that this is a moment of weakness for me. On the contrary, it is a moment of strong faith. It is faith that God is going to accomplish His will in my situation whatever that may be and whatever that may involve. And I have realized this morning that it may not be what I want. I may never be a mother. But I know that God is good and He has big plans for my existence here on earth. I give Him all the glory in this storm because this is truly a test of faith.

I ask for your continued Prayer in this situation and for me and my emotional health in regards to all of this. Feel free to comment if you have something good to say. And if you don't, just don't tell me. I need encouragement and I am taking a Godly stance on saying that I will accept nothing but encouragement from this point on.



Childless

Tears upon a page,
Heartaches that no one understands.
Pain that radiates through my entire being.
Childless.

I put on a facade.
Things are all ok,
and a lot of times they are,
until I realize that I am
Childless.

Folks mean well,
They give me there thoughts and advice,
I smile as I realize they have no idea
what it feels like to be
Childless.

And I fear that I am all alone in this war,
the battle continues to rage.
I fall down,
I am scared.
I am weary and weak.
I am childless.

I pull up off the ground,
My knees bloody and scraped.
As I kneel, I lift my eyes.
In the distance I see purple.
Royalty is heading my way.
But why me?
I am just a servant girl.
He knows I am childless

He appears and reaches down.
He is beautiful and altogether lovely.
I reach for His hand but instead
He scoops me up into His arms,
He says, "Be not weary my child. I am with you."
And I know that He is,
even though I am still childless.

Pray for The Chapman Family

Dear Friends,

Please remember Christian artist Steven Curtis Chapman and his family. His five year old daughter Maria was killed today when his son accidentally hit her with a car. She died at Vanderbilt Hospital this evening. The family was getting ready to enjoy their son's graduation and had just left a celebration for their oldest daughter's engagement. This family needs our Prayers so desperately right now. This really makes you realize just how precious little children are and how small your problems are compared to this.

Alesha : )

My Prayer from Psalm 25

I just finished reading in Psalms and I came across these verses that just brought tears to my eyes. This is my prayer from Psalm 25:

Psalm 25:14-21

14
The secret of the LORD is with them that fear him;

and he will show them his covenant. (SHOW ME LORD)
15
Mine eyes are ever toward the LORD;

for he shall pluck my feet out of the net. (PULL ME UP, ENCOURAGE MY SPIRIT)
16
Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me;

for I am desolate and afflicted. (YOU KNOW MY HEART JESUS)
17
The troubles of my heart are enlarged: (MAGNIFIED IN THIS HOUR, YES)

O bring thou me out of my distresses.
18
Look upon mine affliction and my pain;

and forgive all my sins. (FORGIVE ME FOR NOT ALWAYS DOING WHAT I SHOULD)
19
Consider mine enemies; for they are many;

and they hate me with cruel hatred. (INFERTILITY, LAWSUITS, CRUEL WORDS, WORRY, ETC. )
20
O keep my soul, and deliver me:

let me not be ashamed; for I put my trust in thee. (LET ME ALWAYS STAND FOR YOU!)
21
Let integrity and uprightness preserve me;

for I wait on thee. (LET ME WAIT IN THE RIGHT WAY!)

Prayer Request: Just in case you didn't get the email

Here is a copy of the email that I sent out to most of you. If you didn't get it, I am posting it here for you to read.

Hey guys,

Just a quick note to ask you to continue Praying for us and our desire to have a child. It has been a year now and nothing has happened. I know that God has everything planned out in His time but I can't say that I'm not a little nervous. I went to the doctor today and she told me that we would continue to try the Clomid and Glucophage for a few more months and that if nothing had happened by then, she would refer me to an infertility specialist. It is great to have that opportunity to get to speak with someone who can help us BUT it is also going to move us into lots of out of pocket money that we do not have. My friend spent 10,000 dollars on invitro to have her son! So I broke down when I left the office and cried like a baby. I hate doing that but I guess I was due for a big cry. I always feel so good about it and I always know that God has it under control but sometimes my fleshly side takes over and is consumed with worry. So anyway, this email is just to ask for your continued prayer in this situation. I am so ready to have children and so excited to raise them for God's glory. Just continue to keep us in prayer and if you don't mind, put us on your church's prayer list if we aren't already on there.

Thanks and Much Love,

Alesha ( :

A Special Thank You!

Hi Guys:

I wanted to post a little thank you to a couple who has really went out of their way to encourage me while trying to conceive. Brandon and Shelly are the sweetest! Brandon was my boss when I taught at Southeast Community College Upward Bound. Shelly is his wife. I was really excited to find out that they were expecting last summer because I knew that they had been trying for awhile. I am always happy for folks but its even sweeter to know that they really been waiting and asking God for a miracle and hearing that they have received it. Brandon and Shelly both had sent me messages of encouragement over the past year. Their story was so amazing! So when Mother's Day rolled around, I was excited to leave Shelly a comment for her first celebration with baby Emma.
Shelly wrote me back with a sweet, heart felt note that really encouraged me. She then sent me another message telling me that she was sending me a prayer cloth. When I received her letter and the prayer cloth, I was overwhelmed with thanks and praise to God for such a good, Christian friend and witness. Shelly had went up in front of her church on Mother's Day and publicly thanked God for her little Emma. She then proceeded to tell them about me and my struggle with infertility over this past year. The entire church prayed over this prayer cloth and she sent it to me. What a blessing! I couldn't have received a better Mother's Day gift.... the prayers of a faithful church to help me become a mother! Thank you Shelly and Brandon! You guys are truly wonderful and I love you!!!

HAPPY MOMMA'S DAY MOM!

JUST WANTED TO WISH A HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO MY PRECIOUS MOMMA! I couldn't have asked for a better mother and I hope that I can someday be the mother that she has been. I love u mom, my best friend!

Waiting is hard....God grant me the grace to wait right!

Good Morning All,

I am in Louisville this morning and it seems like it is going to be a beautiful day. Just an update on the baby situation.... still nothing. I have come to realize that waiting is so hard. No matter how much I try to be good, I can't help but have thoughts that enter my mind about the situation. Sometimes I see folks who have never uttered thanks to God for anything. At other times I see young teenagers with children that they really weren't ready for and sometimes didn't and still don't want. I know children in my school who have parents that really don't want them around. The common link? They all have these children that some of us long for and can't seem to get.
Now before I get a ton of comments that say... "Alesha you know God has a purpose for each of those folks and for you" let me go ahead and answer that by saying "Yes, I know." I realize that. I honestly believe that. But it is still a hard row to hoe. (Throwing in some of my country vernacular there hehe) I'm not bitter and I'm trying hard each day to be happy, jolly, and grateful for what I know God will do. I do believe He will do it, it's just sometimes my mind gets overwhelmed by the thoughts of "What could be wrong?" My husband is fine. His tests all came back good. I am taking my meds as prescribed. I am being healthy. Probably healthier than I've been in a long while. I've dropped 10 pounds in the last couple of months. I am taking my vitamins, folic acid (have been on that since college just for this reason!), and I am not consuming myself with the whole thing. I'm not stressing and worrying every single moment of each day. Yet, I'm still babyless. And though I know folks mean well, some of the things they say just make me want to scream. It's almost as if they think I am sabotaging myself by wanting this to happen. I am tired of hearing, "You're trying too hard" or "When you stop thinking about it, it will happen." How do I not try so hard? I have to try on certain days and I have to think about it occasionally.
Oh, what a post, huh? I just realized that I hadn't posted in awhile and I thought to myself, "What is there to post about this morning?" and this is what developed. Please don't think I am grumbling, being mean towards folks who haven't had a hard time, or those who mean well with their thoughts. I'm not. I love each of you and each of those who don't read this but fit the "comment" category. I am just saying what's on my heart.
With that said, I am so glad that I can take this burden to Jesus and lay it at His feet because I don't know what I would do if I couldn't. Talk about heart ache, that would be heart ache.
So let me end with a prayer. That would be fitting. I'm always asking for God's guidance and grace.

Dear Father,

Please Lord grant me the grace that I need to continue on this path. I want to make it to the end of this experience and be able to say that I handled it in a way that is uplifting toward you. Please Jesus, when You feel that it is the right time, please send us a child. Let he/she be devoted to You in the womb and I pray that this child will serve You all the days of his/her life. I pray also that until I meet this child or even know of his/her existence, that You will let he/she enjoy getting to know those that I love so much that are already there with You. I know there's no proof that that can happen but I'm not living by proof anyway. I am living by faith. I have faith that Danielle, Mamaw & Papaw Brittain, Papaw Brock, Shauna, Uncle Bruce, Edie, Sister Helen, etc. can inspire this child even now. Maybe they are even molding it for me as we speak. How precious You are Lord to let those thoughts comfort me! Jesus, go before me and just prepare the way. I thank You for loving me even though I never, ever show You enough love as hard as I try. I praise You for the joy that I have in my heart even through the tough times and I thank You for all the healing and health that You have provided me and those that I hold so dear to my heart. I thank You most importantly for my salvation and Your saving grace that I know those that I am Praying the hardest for, will accept when the time is right. Continue to lead us on and help us through this situation. Help us to never let this time or any time be in vain. Mold and shape our hearts into what they should be. Help us to continue to grow.

In Great Love and Thanks,

Amen


(picture from http://www.easybabyhandprintcrafts.com/babyhandprinttshirt.html)

Something Fun For You All That Are Stressed....

CLICK HERE FOR THE ULTIMATE IN STRESS RELIEF! ENJOY

Just Asking For Prayer

Hi Guys!

Just a quick post to ask each of you to continue to remember my fertility issues. My husband's test results came back and he is fine so it must be totally me. haha I'm always causing trouble : ) Seriously, I know God will bless us with a child when He sees fit and we are waiting on Him. I praise Him for my husband's results. I also wanted to ask you to please Pray for my students and all students in general who are testing right now. Pray that they will truly demonstrate what we have taught them and shine on the CATS testing or whatever the testing may be called in your neck of the woods.

Love....

Me

Random Spring Fun

OOOOOOOOOOOOOk... here are some pictures from 80's day & CATS kickoff at work this week. I have also included random pics of my dad, me, and my Math scores award from 2007. Yes... I am dressed as an indian..... and I actually have indian in me. ENJOY!


Me and Shannon as "The Village People"
Me and My Lovely Gal Pal Kim
Kim posing ........... haha
Shannon as Hannah Montana
Us on "Are You Smarter Than Your Teacher?"
Again
Ms. Risner singing "Wind Beneath My Wings"
Me as the indian
Me with my Award
Steph, Tina, Pam, Misty, Susan, & Me... 80's ladies
Me ... Blast from the past!
Loving the side do.... you know you are????
Tina is truely 80's
Me after work
Again... glad it's Friday
My precious daddy!!!!
My dad's pic for his Master of Electrician License renewal
My Award Up Close..... YEA for my kiddies!!!

Ahhhh.... Spring Break Has Officially Ended

Hello All:

Yes... it's true. Spring Break is now gone. Tomorrow I head back to finish preparing my kiddies for the 2008 CATS test. Please keep that in Prayer. I always feel stressed this time of year and I always Pray about this test because I want my kids to show what they have learned.

I have had a wonderful break. I have hardly even thought of the stresses mentioned in the last post. It's sort of like I posted that and just left the stress with it. That's ok with me! Thank God!!! Please continue to Pray about it all.

I did accomplish all that I had planned over break. I cleaned out my clothes, even though I haven't actually taken them anywhere yet. I also cleaned my car with the help of my precious momma and brother. I went to the visitation of one of my student's mother. I also typed Verna's Testimony that told Danielle's life story. I hope to post that on here in the next few months when we finish working with it. She hopes to put it in book form to help others who are going through similar situations. My house is (was) clean! HA! I got through a few appointments, paid bills, mailed important things, and took care of myself. I also spent some time with my hubby even though he was sick during his time off. This makes me so anxious for summer break!

I had a wonderful day at Church. Our pastor did an outstanding job with the sermons (as always) and I really got a lot out of them. We are still studying the book of Ruth and it's valuable lessons. I am loving the beautiful picture of Jesus and us in the story of Ruth and her beloved Boaz. Truly beautiful!

I've had a productive night. I seemed to get a lot accomplished and I Pray that these next few weeks are the same way.

This is probably the most random post I've written in awhile. I guess that's allowed sometimes, right?

Coming Up To Breathe ... Please Pray

Hi guys:

I have not be doing that great at keeping up with my blog lately. During this time of year at work, things get pretty hectic. However, I have had plenty more things making my life hectic right now. A few days ago I found out some news that I can't technically share on here. It is legal news and it's not good. Feel free to email me and I can explain, but I don't really feel like I should be talking about it on the Internet for the world to see. No, I didn't get arrested! HAHA
Anyway, in the midst of finding this out I began to become overwhelmed with my very own party. Yep, you guessed it... a Pity Party.
I began to think of all that has been going on in this past year. I have been trying to get pregnant. I haven't gotten there yet. I feel stuck because I'd like to lose some weight (by some I mean a lot haha) and I can't exactly go on a crash diet while trying to conceive. Michael and I are looking at houses and we actually found one that we really liked but the credit union we were going through gave us to high of an interest rate and asked for some outlandish money amounts so we stepped out of the commitment. Right as we found another mortgage place and got the interest rates worked out, my legal stuff showed up. And only a few days later, we found out that the accident that I had almost 2 years ago has been showing up on my in-laws insurance instead of ours, therefore making ours shoot up now and making us feel bad for them paying it for the last 2 years (they do not want it back). What a mix up, right?!
Anyway, I have been pretty overwhelmed. God has really covered me under His wings because during this week of Spring Break I have felt a whole lot more peaceful about everything. Please just pray that everything works out the way it's suppose to and that I can get some much needed mental rest. I am stressed about all the stuff above but more than anything I have the baby thing on my heart a lot here lately. Last year when we started trying to conceive I was really anxious and then after a few months I calmed down and admitted that it may take awhile and I was OK with that. Now, I am beginning to stress again because here I am on this medication and still no baby. Yes, I know it's only been 2 rounds and I haven't found out the results of this round yet but it still leaves you wondering about the lengths you may have to go to in order to have your own child. I see my friends going through it and I am amazed by their stamina and their patience. I realize that you never really know what your mind will go through during the length of time that you have to wait. So many ups and downs. Right, Beth? And the saddest part is, I have only been going through this for almost a year unlike many of my friends who waited 8-10 years. My pain and anguish is nothing compared to what they went through.
I trust that God will provide when He sees fit and I really think that being a mom is in my future. I am just asking for your prayers in order to help see me through this situation. I ask that you pray for all of the above including the baby thing and for the legal issue to be dissolved. Also, please pray for the continued health of my family and for an upcoming peaceful summer break. Praise God that He tells us to ask Him for help in everything!